Having Leukemia is hard. Not really because of the pain or the loss of my physical appearance or spending 45 out of 60 days in the hospital away from my family or getting blood drawn 3 days a week or giving myself a daily shot in the stomach….seriously. What’s hard is that with the exception of my time in ICU, I feel pretty darn good! Yet-often when I feel good I am Neutropenic as well, meaning I can’t go in public or eat fresh fruit or vegetables and can catch pretty much any infection put in front of me. But I feel fine. I have to just trust that I really am sick with a very serious disease and act accordingly-regardless of how I feel.
I told my husband that it is sort of like having Faith in God. I have to choose to believe God even though I can’t see him or sense him or understand him. I have to act on that faith and follow him and trust him, even when my body and mind try to convince me otherwise. It’s a good reminder for me.
“Thank you Lord that you have “recycled” my Leukemia and made it a point of growth in loving you “reverently” ( my dear sister pointed out the beautiful definition of REVERENCE: Profound adoring. Awed respect. ) . Amen