I had some really deep, clever things planned to say in my blog today. Instead, I am pouting. I am finally home from the hospital and am feeling sorry for myself? Craziness. First, let me just say that being in the hospital without chores or errands or real life responsibilities is not too bad if you don’t feel sick ( more to come on this subject this week. It really does warrant a whole entry in and of itself). Anyway-just having a little pity party about the fact that I am bald like the lady in the preview at church this morning, that i can’t plan a summer vacation or even an outing for this weekend in case my blood counts drop, and other people get to live or move somewhere sunny. And then there are the more rational thoughts about how I am probably the only one who battles doubts or fears or disappointment on the parenting or marital or relational front. You see how this path ends…actually, it never ends. It just gets darker and more unclear until I start believing that GOD is letting EVERYONE ELSE have a pain-free, problem free and financially fabulous life EXCEPT ME. I suspect that there might be at least one other person who has felt this way?
My devotional reading for the day is a comment from God on the matter: “Sometimes My sovereign hand-My control over your life-places you in humbling circumstances. You feel held down, held back, and powerless to change things. You long to break free and feel in control of your life once again. Although this is an uncomfortable position, it is actually a good place to be. Your discomfort awakens you from the slumber of routine and reminds you that I am in charge of your life. It also presents you with an important choice: you can lash out at your circumstances-resenting My ways with you-or you can draw closer to Me.”
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:6,7
*Oh-and I just remembered I have to go give myself a shot in the stomach. %&^!# 🙂