I am having a hard time sleeping lately. Last night I was awake from 12-4 am. The other night Blake was sleeping in Bennett’s room ( due to my Neutropenic state…germs) so when i couldn’t sleep I turned on the TV. Shallow Hal was on. It’s a pretty good story-line about a man who gets hypnotized into seeing other people’s true inner beauty in their outward appearance. He ends up dating a woman who is extremely obese but he sees her as gorgeous and thin (she is played by Gweneth Paltrow!) because her soul is so kind. At one point he meets a woman his friend is going on a date with who is scrawny, very old and disheveled and smoking like a chimney. When he leaves the car and the woman is alone with Gweneth, we see that Gweneth is a robust woman and the other woman is actually about 20 and sexy, but her soul reveals her true inner beauty by making her, well, ugly, outwardly.
OK. So…it was really late so here is where my brain went with this. I have a lot of ideas about observations I have regarding many things in my life, now and previously. Some of these ideas have been rolling around in my head for YEARS but I never put them down on “paper” because I convinced myself it would be torturous for others to read them because I am not good with words. I use words like LIKE, and my descriptive repoitoire consists of an overflow of words like SOOO MUCH, VERY, and REALLY. ( i.e. Thank you sooo much, it’s very confusing and really REALLY cold). While I was watching Shallow Hal, it all became clear why I have heard comments about my blog like ( see!?) “beautifully written” and “you are so good with words”. It’s because you have all been hypnotized by Leukemia! It’s the ultimate cancer pass….sounding much wiser and smarter than I really am. It makes perfect sense now.
Honestly, I don’t understand why anyone would read this blog more than one time, but for now I will keep writing because it helps me clear my head and I have heard from a few people that it helps them occasionally as well. The more sleep I lose the more topics I come up with. I have long que but try to ask God each day what it is HE wants me to share. So far, He keeps giving me NEW ideas and my list keeps backing up. So, I guess I’ll keep writing until He says stop. I ultimately know that God can use anyone’s words, intelligent or not, to let people know He is FOR them. I am FOR you too which is why I hope you return to read another day. Lord knows it’s not due to my, um, really-very good writing skills.
Love you “SOOOO MUCH” H