I am having a hard time sleeping lately. Last night I was awake from 12-4 am. The other night Blake was sleeping in Bennett’s room ( due to my Neutropenic state…germs) so when i couldn’t sleep I turned on the TV. Shallow Hal was on. It’s a pretty good story-line about a man who gets hypnotized into seeing other people’s true inner beauty in their outward appearance. He ends up dating a woman who is extremely obese but he sees her as gorgeous and thin (she is played by Gweneth Paltrow!) because her soul is so kind. At one point he meets a woman his friend is going on a date with who is scrawny, very old and disheveled and smoking like a chimney. When he leaves the car and the woman is alone with Gweneth, we see that Gweneth is a robust woman and the other woman is actually about 20 and sexy, but her soul reveals her true inner beauty by making her, well, ugly, outwardly.
OK. So…it was really late so here is where my brain went with this. I have a lot of ideas about observations I have regarding many things in my life, now and previously. Some of these ideas have been rolling around in my head for YEARS but I never put them down on “paper” because I convinced myself it would be torturous for others to read them because I am not good with words. I use words like LIKE, and my descriptive repoitoire consists of an overflow of words like SOOO MUCH, VERY, and REALLY. ( i.e. Thank you sooo much, it’s very confusing and really REALLY cold). While I was watching Shallow Hal, it all became clear why I have heard comments about my blog like ( see!?) “beautifully written” and “you are so good with words”. It’s because you have all been hypnotized by Leukemia! It’s the ultimate cancer pass….sounding much wiser and smarter than I really am. It makes perfect sense now.
Honestly, I don’t understand why anyone would read this blog more than one time, but for now I will keep writing because it helps me clear my head and I have heard from a few people that it helps them occasionally as well. The more sleep I lose the more topics I come up with. I have long que but try to ask God each day what it is HE wants me to share. So far, He keeps giving me NEW ideas and my list keeps backing up. So, I guess I’ll keep writing until He says stop. I ultimately know that God can use anyone’s words, intelligent or not, to let people know He is FOR them. I am FOR you too which is why I hope you return to read another day. Lord knows it’s not due to my, um, really-very good writing skills.
Love you “SOOOO MUCH” H
Clear, real, thoughtful–just three words of several that describe your writing and why we enjoy reading it.
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I still think you are a gifted writer – able to express your pain, fear and vulnerability in a way that will touch others on some level. You are reaching those who will benefit by your words. Please keep it up. Prayers will continue from many – more than you can imagine.
I loooooove your writing style. Keep it up! I read everything you write. I’m not good verbally but I usually can say what I want to say in writing much better.
I, too, ask God daily what He wants me to write, and He has instructed me to send out devotions to a small group of people. Some recipients are family members, others are friends either locally or anywhere in the US. Some are friends of my friends whom I don’t know at all. At the end, I add my comments…on the topic or not…and share what God tells me to about my own faith and how God works in my life. If you’re ever interested in being in this little group, just let me know. No one in the group knows who else is in the group. It started with 2 people and it’s now up to 15. Funny how God works, isn’t it?
Anyway, keep up the good work. Nothing like a positive attitude to help yourself, as well as sharing your heart with others. I really, really look forward to your blog entries!
Blessings…
Joyce
love you soooooo muchie!
You just keep doing you….. blog, baby, blog……………. 😉
What you write sounds so very much like you. Love every word.
Keep it up! I realllly like love your verrrry deep insights because I love YOU Sooooo much. I especially like the one about your mom”!
I love read these. It makes me feel closer to you. God is with you. God is for you. God is working. P. S. Your thoughts aren’t schizophrenic as you mentioned in an earlier blog, we all have a crazy dialogue rolling around in our minds 24/7 (or maybe it’s just me and you!). Keep writing!
Heather, I’m not hypnotized by leukemia. I’m hypnotized by the peace, joy, hope, grace, & love of God I see shining through your words. Your blog has ministered deeply to me. I love you & Blake & kids very much! Thank you so much for your blog & for being willing to be courageous enough to openly include others in this journey! I’m praying for you & those caring for you. Blessings!!!
I agree with anonymous…not hypnotized by leukemia. Your blog has been well worth the read and I keep coming back whenever there is a new post. As I read the thoughts you share I see them compiled into a devotional for those who will be walking the same path in the future. I pray for you and the family and send our love.
Love it! I use the same words!
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H – I think it’s a combination of honesty and relatability (not sure this is a word) that make your writing intriguing. You allow God to work and speak through you in the midst of miserable circumstance. This is inspiring to those of us who are prone to whining about the stupid everyday annoyances of life, and helps people like me to keep our perspective on gratitude and blessings….and the little things. 😊