Today’s the day. A day my friend and I have been talking and dreaming about for 20 years. I am presently on an airplane heading to Napa Valley with one of my oldest friends (as in, “been friends for 20 years” old ). After one has a terminal disease, one realizes that life is too short to put certain things off any longer. This is one of those things. I also felt like I wouldn’t have to argue too hard with anyone who might not approve of this trip or its’ timing. When you survive Leukemia, you have just a little leverage. I will land in about an hour. I was instructed by my husband to please not return “sick” like I did last time I went to Napa. The first of my medical miracles happened last January when I FLEW ON AN AIRPLANE with NO immune system. Now, that’s just plain scary. I didn’t know I had leukemia yet. The frappe’ of germs on an airplane could have killed me. But God had different plans for me-thank you thank you thank you.
Lately I have become hyper aware of time. How precious it is. How easily it is wasted. Lost. Even how it can seem to drag on and on. My daughter gave me a new CD (had it autographed by the band and everything!). I have been listening to it in my car and I just now realized that about half of the songs have to do with this very thing. They sing phrases like “don’t let the beauty of this life pass you by” and “slow down” and “we go a thousand miles an hour” and don’t notice what’s around us. Do you think, like I do, that God just might be dropping some hints? I have to say, that it was much easier to focus and embrace life when I was fighting for it. The threat of life being taken away gave me grand perspective. But guess what-it didn’t take long of living my life “well” to lose it again. Life is so stinkin’ busy and challenging and stressful and exciting and fun and fast. It takes a lot of redirecting my mind and heart to live one day at a time. One moment at a time. Embracing life for the reality that is right in front of me is not an easy or natural thing to do.
The other day I remembered a daily planner that someone gave me back in January. When I got it out to use it, I had a rude awakening. The first month had all kinds of appointments written down in it. I had just started Real Estate and was meeting with several clients and potential clients every day of the week. Then February came. February 6th, to be exact. After that there were 6 months of blank pages. When I clipped them together so i could start using it now (in September), there were only 3 months left before the planner would be thrown away and replaced with a new one. Talk about a visual of how fast life goes-how time flies. I wish I could say that I don’t waste time anymore. That I relish and fully live every moment. But I have to tell you the truth-that more often than not, I live as if death was never a threat at all. Just like you-and just like I was before Leukemia-I struggle to make the most of each breath I have been granted. I still take my husband for granted. I still grouch at my kids. I still put off calling a friend. Today I have been reminded that, luckily, God didn’t just give me a second chance to do it better. He gives me chance after chance after chance after chance. And he does the same for you. When I forget or neglect to “notice” the the beauty of this life, I remember that I can start over at any point. I choose today to start over (being in Napa Valley won’t hurt!).T