So…after I wrote about wanting a “Fast-Pass” a couple days ago (stop reading right now and refer to the previous if you haven’t read it yet😉), I couldn’t help but contemplate what exactly I think that would look like if it actually could happen in real life. And after a couple days it came like to me as subtle as a meteorite landing on my house…”I have had a Fast-Pass, it was called Leukemia.” A Fast-Pass gets you through the line, helps you reach your a final destination, quickly, without distraction, without rest, and with extreme intensity. Yup-that pretty much describes it. There is no sitting down because the line is long and slow and boring. Sometimes you can barely keep up, actually. Whether you want to or not, you have to “just-keep-walking” toward the end of the line. As you move, you might actually glance at the regular line and wish you could just stop and rest there for a couple minutes-catch your breath. But once you are in the Fast-Pass line, this is not an option any longer.
The thing about real life Fast-Passes is that we wish for them in general, but when they actually come, they aren’t the kind we’ve requested. I am sure you have had a few yourself. And as much as they hurt and, to be truthful, feel excruciatingly long for a something called a FAST-Pass, they expedite the rate at which we grow. I sincerely hate to admit this out loud, but it’s something we all recognize; we become the kind of person we truly want to be as a result of these Fast-Pass experiences. When we are in situations that require us to keep our connection with God active, when prayer is how we make it through each minute of the day, when we depend on the generosity of others for our health and well-being in a way we never could when we were in the regular line, we get stronger. When we we search God’s word for answers and hope and peace because otherwise we would melt into puddles of despair and grief and depression, we get wiser. When we cry out to God and cast every fear, anxiety and worry at His feet because they are too heavey and burdensome for our week bodies to carry one more step, we become more of the kind of person others respect and revere and are inspired by. We OVERCOME.
Now that I look back, I know that leukemia has not been the only Fast-Pass I have had the “privilege” to experience. And I know it will not be my final. I think I will prepare myself now for those times ahead. I can do that by keeping my will in line with God’s heart. I can seek him even when I am under the false-impression that I am the one in control of my own happiness. When things are good and my kids are behaving and my pocket-book is fat and I don’t have Leukemia, I can still remember where all that good stuff comes from. My tendency is to tell God, “thankyouverymuch for helping me through that Fast-Pass line. You just take a little break and I’ll take over for a bit.” But what He wants is for me to stay as close to him in the regular line l as I do in the Fast-Pass line. Truly, I want that too. Unfortunately it takes a lot more effort than when I am acutely aware of my inability to control my own life. Depending on Him is easy to do, Easy not to do,When you are standing in the regular line. But maybe, just maybe, if I applied that desperate seeking and trusting and crying out in my everyday life, I could become that wiser, kinder, inspiring person without having to wait for a Fast-Pass in order to get there. Just a thought…
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart-I have OVERCOME (hammered, licked, crucified, demolished, overpowered, thrashed, conquered, defeated, routed, beaten) the world. (John 16:33)