“In the same way a piece of bone-in, skin-on chicken will always be juicier and more flavorful than its boneless, skinless counterpart, fish benefits from keeping its protective skin and bones.”
Now that’a a good “hook” to kick off a blog, right? Hang with me…
Even though I generally buy my chicken boneless and skinless, we all know that it releases the most flavor and maintains moisture better when it is cooked together with the bone and skin. Seems to be sort of the opposite to bring out flavor in the fish. Whichever way you frame it, I think we can agree that having bones and skin involved=better.
On various occasions in my past, and even as recent as the past few weeks, I feel like I have been walking around without them. I am “boneless and skinless”. This is a phenomenon that happens from my inside out when especially emotional situations enter my life and don’t leave in a timely fashion. I cling to the book of Psalms during these periods because David, who wrote the majority of them, does a lot of pleading with God to come quickly to his rescue because he is “poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint” (Psalm 22). I love, or at least understand, that metaphor.
When my heart is wrecked and my mind orbits around a wound 24 hours a day without relief, I feel like my very structure is incapable of “doing the next right thing” that needs doing.
Laundry=too hard. Dinner=way too hard. Making a phone call=too much. And being “present” with people I am with?=not happening. It’s all just so much work. I physically can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other sometimes.
And what about skinless? That’s a painful one. In Psalm 73:26, another Psalmist talks about his “flesh/skin failing” as a result of his suffering.
Sometimes, and maybe you have had your own experience with this, I feel like I am literally walking around without my skin on. Everything and everyone that brushes against me during the day feels “extra”. Extra harsh, extra tender, extra soft, extra scathing.
“It’s not you, it’s me”, as the saying goes. I am raw and sinewy and exposed to outside elements in the most vulnerable and cringy way. I really hate being like this. It makes me feel not only emotional, but weak. Crying in front of people is something I hate to do but it seems to happen a lot in this kind of season. I don’t think people around me mind (What? She’s human??), but I certainly don’t like to let my guard down like this!
When I read the Psalms, I don’t always get the answers I want to hear (although, and I’m not proud to admit it, but sometimes I read and re-read the ones where God finally brings down justice on David’s enemies 😬). I do, however, observe a posture that David seems to circle back to over and over, and I hear a common refrain that keeps me from completely imploding (which is what happens when one tries to live life without proper bones and skin).
First–after David begs God to help him (and whines a bit about his unfair circumstances), he remembers his track record. Or should I say, God’s track record. He says things like:
- For you have been my hope, O Sovereign God, my confidence since my youth.
- Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again.
- For you have delivered me from death, and my feet from stumbling.
- If your word had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction
- I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me.
Second, He gives us the solution: Trust in God.
- *In you our fathers put their trust.; they trusted and you delivered them.They cried out to you (God) and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed. (Ps. 22:4,5)
- The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy (Ps 28:7)
- Be still and know that I am God (Ps. 46:10)
- When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? (Ps. 56:3,4)
- Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you (Ps. 143:8)
- But I trust you o lord. You are my God, my times are in your hands (Ps. 31:14,15)
Have you been doing life “boneless and skinless”? Me too. We are not chickens. It’s not healthier this way.
Maybe we can do what David did; remember God’s track record and how he has shown up for us in the past. And maybe it will help us both if we read through some of the Psalms I listed above and then wait patiently for God to restore us to physical, emotional and spiritual health.
What have we got to lose?
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I love David for that very reason. The psalms have often been a place I have dragged my carcass when overwhelmed. At times I feel the vultures eating me before I am really, really dead. But my almost dead body (see The Princess Bride if that doesn’t make sense). David pours out his pain and feelings but then rises above that and practices what we might call mindfulness or positive self talk. He calls God out on His attributes and claims Gods attributes for himself. Easier to do after a few hours, days or (gulp, weeks) of sitting on the pity pot. But I think stages of grief are part of the healing journey- if you can follow my leap there. After I go through my emotions I can grab God’s hand and say “After you!”