Category Archives: worry

Quarantined: Ain’t my first rodeo!

Covid-19 is giving me a little PTSD. Being quarantined; it ain’t my first rodeo. There were times while being treated for Leukemia when I was neutropenic (lacking ability to fight off threatening diseases that could kill an immunocompromised person) and couldn’t leave my house. Or, let anyone except my family come in my house. AndContinueContinue reading “Quarantined: Ain’t my first rodeo!”

“Come get me”

I think I am finally able to write. Since the Coronavirus hit, I have not been able. Not out of any grand preparation for isolation, but for the simple fact that I just had nothing productive to say. I was actually afraid I might do more harm than good if I opened my mouth aboutContinueContinue reading ““Come get me””

Mental “Woolgathering”

At the risk of offending any Shepherds, I am going to take the concept of wool-gathering a bit out of context because, well, I am determined to use the idea to clarify the dangers of a lackadaisical mind. The concept of mental “woolgathering” typically refers to a mind given to daydreaming or idle/fanciful thinking. NothingContinueContinue reading “Mental “Woolgathering””

Tangled

This is not one of my favorite memories, but it certainly is one of my most vivid. When I went in to the hospital with Leukemia, to say I had a lot of hair would be an understatement. I had an enormous amount of long, blond hair. Most of the time I kept it onContinueContinue reading “Tangled”

I See Those Hands…

Raise your hand if you have ever battled a potentially terminal disease or love someone who has or does? Now raise your hand if you struggle with the disease of addiction or love someone who has or does? And raise a hand if you’ve ever felt tormented by the effects of your own sin/evil/brokenness orContinueContinue reading “I See Those Hands…”

The “Good and Lovely” Game

Something I am realizing as I get older is that it is quite possible that even though my skin is sagging and my hair is a bit more silver, my insides might always remain about twelve—as in twelve years old. I remember being twenty and anticipating the day I turned 30. How I would finallyContinueContinue reading “The “Good and Lovely” Game”

“I Can’t Stop This Feeling…”

“Lord-help me! I feel many things today, which I guess is better than feeling nothing. Not sure. But looking at my list of emotions, I feel: dreading, fearful, anxious, worried, insecure, rejected, distrusting, suspicious, disturbed, overwhelmed, uncomfortable, hurt, lonely, defeated, bored, exhausted, depressed, sad, disappointed, disappointing, irritated, envious, preoccupied, weary, restless, frustrated, annoyed. That’s aContinueContinue reading ““I Can’t Stop This Feeling…””

Super-Stuck

Even before he starting preaching on worry and how to get “UNSTUCK”, I had found my card they give us to write notes on at church and starting venting; “I am super-stuck. Stuck in a pattern of anxiety about things in my life that I can’t control. I am freakin’ afraid! Afraid that my kids,ContinueContinue reading “Super-Stuck”

Longing for Leukemia

In a weird way, I sort of miss having Leukemia. Obviously, it is not with warm-fuzzy feelings, but I do look back on my Leukemia days with a certain fondness. There are actually a lot of reasons I am thankful for that season of my life; I made many new friends who I would haveContinueContinue reading “Longing for Leukemia”

“Martha, Martha, Martha!”

Even if you haven’t watched and memorized every episode of the Brady Bunch (like me), most of us are still familiar with the famous exasperated cry, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”. I can see how Jan (the middle of 3 blond sisters) felt inferior to her older sister, Marsha.. I mean, I always wanted to be likeContinueContinue reading ““Martha, Martha, Martha!””