Disintegration

Life has been pretty chaotic for me the past few months. Some of the chaos was bad—like my son getting hit by a car and all that goes with that. Some of the chaos has been good—like Blake’s mom being here for a week and my mom here for a week shortly after that. ForContinue reading “Disintegration”

Cousin Eddie

I am sitting on the couch in my pajama’s listening to Christmas Carols on my IPAD. I love my living room this time of year. The Christmas tree is in here, there is a beautiful tray with candles and a poinsettia on the coffee table and my piano looks like a Christmas bomb exploded onContinue reading “Cousin Eddie”

Wide Open Like a Lake

Several years ago, before my life as i knew it unraveled, I was on a vacation. I remember, very distinctly, sitting poolside, listening to music on my ipod. A song came on called, “Like a Lake”, by Sarah Groves. It was beautiful, and as I listened, I realized I had no earthly idea what sheContinue reading “Wide Open Like a Lake”

“Live like you were dying”

I’ve been holding on to these stories for a few months. I didn’t really know how to make it something that would help anyone but me, until now. So, before I tell you what I came up with, let me tell you a few stories about how I thought I was going to die: ThisContinue reading ““Live like you were dying””

Detachment…my favorite tool

We have a saying in our household: “our favorite ‘tools’ are a phone and a phonebook.” When something needs a fixn’, we have to call it in. This makes us pretty needy neighbors. We borrow a lot. But, hey, if you need a screw driver or hammer, we’re “here for you.” A couple of yearsContinue reading “Detachment…my favorite tool”

What am I doing wrong?

Ok…this is a sad story. It’s about me, but since it isn’t something I remember saying, I can tell you as if it were someone else and tell you that it breaks my heart that someone would think this. Last time I was in for chemo I was talking with the nurse that was withContinue reading “What am I doing wrong?”

feeling loved…

i woke up sentimental this morning for some reason.  One “activity” i planned for in the hospital was to read all the sweet cards i received from all of you. when i got home from the hospital blake had displayed them all over both our kitchen and giant dining room table! My family had openedContinue reading “feeling loved…”

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